Just three hours drive from Brno, over the border into Poland, you will find Energylandia theme park, 50 kilometres from Krakow and one of Poland’s most popular family attractions. Brno Daily’s columnist Joe Emerson went to investigate…
Energylandia: where all your dreams are made… or nightmares depending on your degree of vertigo and how easily you succumb to peer pressure.
Yes, as much as I may pretend to be a cultured art-loving man, deep down I’m just a sucker for the fast colorful thrills of a theme park.
My first ever rollercoaster experience was on Space Mountain in Disneyland Paris when I was 13 – my memory isn’t the best but I do remember lots of changing colours and strange noises… mainly coming from the seat next to me where my dad was becoming increasingly green. His alien-like complexion certainly helped to increase the authenticity of the theme as we blasted into space… however it was sadly the end of his rollercoaster career.
So anyway, three hours drive north-east from Brno you will find Poland’s answer to the Magic Kingdom. If Disneyland is a high level theme park I would put this on the medium to high scale. Let’s get down to it!
Rides and attractions
There are 48 attractions in total, ranging from the spinning teacups to “I want my mum” scary rides.
My top three favourites:
Hyperion – A world-class coaster, one of the biggest and fastest in Europe. I heard people crying as we got pulled to the top of the 80-metre vertical drop. The sound of instant regret, though luckily the G-force would soon obliterate those tears away.
Zadra – The tallest wooden rollercoaster in the world (according to the website). The shaky wooden sound definitely makes you feel like you’re dicing with death. An amazingly fast, impressive coaster.
Moya Formula – Very fast straight out of the pits and into a 360-degree loop. A great acceleration thrill, but maybe a ride to avoid straight after lunch.
There are many more suitable for all ages, but these were the best in my opinion. Also, as part of the entrance ticket you get access to the “Big Milk” water park, which definitely looks like it’s worth a dunkin’.
There were a few fairground type rides scattered around but I tend to avoid these. They seem to be designed just to make you feel sick in as many inventive ways as possible. I also recommend avoiding the 7D cinema for the same reason. My friends and I had the space mountain green gills after this disappointing virtual swim.
The park was well-organised and clean, but the setting is a little bland in comparison to the better known parks. It lacks quality non-rollercoaster rides and familiar characters, but it’s still good, with a vast range of seasonal-themed decorations throughout.
Adults: 149 Zloty (33 Euros)
Kids: 99 Zloty (22 Euros)
Parking: 10 Zloty (2.20 Euros) for the day
Food: Varied and cheap
I would score the park a respectable 6.7 out of 10 on the supreme theme park scale, with Tokyo’s Disneyland Sea and Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventure being the best I’ve experienced.
Also, a new seahorse-endorsed area called Aqualantis is currently under construction. I imagine the rides will involve being propelled at great speeds down Neptune’s trident etc. Jason Momoa will be opening this new area in the Autumn. Please be aware that one of the preceding statements is a massive lie.
So that all being said, I highly recommend visiting Energylandia. There are a range of safety precautions in place related to the pandemic, and masks must be worn at all times in the park, including on rides. See their website for more info.